Originally posted 11/12/02

Mood - Lonely =(

Today, it went from OK to me becoming out of it. I don't know what the fuck is up with me. I still gotta do school shit tomorrow too. Damn. I'm probably gonna have a hard time sleeping tonight. Well, at work, it started out ok. On a break, I decided to call Michelle. Well, unfortuently, she was busy. =T Sometimes to do feel like a dope, for some unknown reason. I'm just so deeply in love with her, and I don't know if love is blinding me or am I acctually seeing what is going on around me. Funny how compleat devotion to somebody can hurt you, even though it's pretty much all self-inflicted just because you miss that other person so much. I wish so much that Michelle could live closer to me. Better yet, have her live next door so, whenever she wants, she can hop through my window and into my room. Only in my dreams. I've told Bonnie this, but in all seriousness, I am like Drew Carey. I'm the one guy that all the girls describe what they want their guy's to be, and yet, they don't see what's in front of them... possibly because I try and keep as low of a profile as I can, or maybe it's that I'm shy... or maybe it's the fact that I'm a big, fat guy and that turns the ladies away. Who the fuck knows anyway. I'm happy with Michelle, but I wonder sometimes how my life would be diffrent if I was more fit, skinnier, or whaever. Oh well. People always tell me that I'm so sweet. True, but I've learned that sweet keeps you on the good side of people, but also on the back of their minds. Don't ask me how or why, in the world I've encountered, that just the way shit flows. Well, back to the love hurts subject, love is a great and wonderful thing, but be warned. It does have side effects. Like me, right now. I love Mich so much, that I go through withdrawls sometimes when she's not with me. I'll miss her so much that I get depressed and all I can think about is how much I want her to be here with me... Just to feel her touch is magical. Her smile has the ability to light up my day, even if I'm in the slumps. Michelle's eye are one of a kind. They're so beautiful. I can't resist just looking into her brown eyes. Her lips is where all her majic comes out. Mich's kiss. Simply undescribable. I love her kisses. Anytime I'm face to face with her, I just want to kiss her soft lips so much. She also has the ability to relax me in a way that nothing else in this world can. Amazing how I'm saying this and I've been with her for over 2 years now. Ok internet people. I'm out.

Dean

P.S. Acctually I wanna put 2 songs that I'm listening to, so....

Currently Playing:

Destiny's Child - Brown eyes

Brian McKnight - One Last Cry